Things that will blow your mind

And now, I'll (try in vain to) surprise you with facts that will blow your mind.
One -  You can have friends. You can food. You can have food with friends and then have friends for food (if you wish to get naughty and try cannibalism). But the fact is friends and food are fun to have.
Two - Love is in the air, it seems. No. Oxygen, Carbon Die-oxide, Carbon Monoxide, Carbon other-something-oxide etc. are in the air. And death.
Three - According to a scientific survey, all surveys have been proven to be non-existent.

Four - Fact five doesn't exist.
Five - No. It does.
Six - People are easily influenced by friends and alcohol and generally can't distinguish between the two at two am. I personally, know it. My friends told me.
Seven - Ok, I lied. I don't have friends. And I can't afford alcohol. Will you pay me? I will dance and call you Master.

Eight - I eight to do puns. Get it? Hate - eight? No? Me neither. I love puns.
Nine - I'm tired.
Ten - Explosives, guns (with bullets) and excessive Helium. If these don't blow your mind, nothing will.

Why are we bored?

Let me maturely avoid the obvious joke of reading a blog about boredom to be a sure sign of chronic boredom which is flirting with manic depression. But wait, I didn't.

But still, let's analyse the definition of boredom. The Oxford medical dictionary defines boredome as a state of mind where the brain is SO inactive that it is known to cause drooling, yawning and even sudden death.
Ok, I lied about the latter.
But that's still worth thinking about. And that may cure your boredom.

Okay, let's do the title some justice.
Why are we bored? Hmmm... That's quite a boring question to start with, innit?
But, I'll talk about ice creams instead.

Did you know that man is not an acronym for monkey ancestor nonsense?
(You might have... as I didn't know it until 10 seconds earlier)
But did you know that you will be dead longer than you will be alive?  

But.

Yes, I lied about the ice-creams. And I'm too bored to tell you why.
Ice-creams are generally cold.
Got ya! I lied about lying. Didn't see that coming did you?
Neither did I.

Now what?

This one is dedicated to +Sneha Jain not because she's special, no way, but because she's the only one who reads these.
(Well, she tells me she reads these).

Ladies and gentlemen, if you care to read and assuming you can - she's allegedly getting married. Quite soon. That fateful day is dangerously close.
So, let's examine it from MY point of view. Too much importance is given to the bride, the groom and the food. But it's me that gets affected the most. At least in my world.

Will we still be siblings? Yes.
Will we still abuse our dumb headed siblings? Hell, yes.
Will we get to hang about often? Probably not, and surely not like THAT. Not as before.
Will she get to wear black? Officially, no.
Will I still support Man Utd, Barca and Nadal? Irrelevant. And the answer is fuck yes.
Will she still be thirsty? That's a no brainer. And for those with no brains, yes.
Will we still watch Sarabhai together? I hope so.
Will this list end? Yes
Will.I.Am.
Will we avoid converesations relating to No sky above and still kind of laugh? Oh... yes.
Will.. oh, that's enough.
Will someone gime an award now? No..... Ok.
Will we still be hazardously cool and continue our joint efforts to take over the world? Oui. (That's French you ignorant people and it means go fuck yourselves. No, it means yes).