Dealing with siblings and relatives

Based on the over-whelming demand, I - VJ 'the holder of the supreme truth' - hereby give you the divine knowledge you need to deal with pesty relatives and incorrigible siblings.

1. Concentrated ignorance

Let the unrelated relative/ slimy sibling know you do not even acknowledge their existence. Give them undivided ignorance by acting as if you can see through them. If required, walk straight into them and when you bump into them act as if a freakin' ghost hit you (the image is a practical example of the same).

2. Small sins

Hide your siblings final exam hall ticket on the day of the exam and then go hide in your friends house and make extortion calls, break the relative's cell phone or if necessary even their head, pour benzene on them etc. can all be productively utilized with effective and immediate results.

3. Shift city/country/galaxy

This is a little extreme but very justifiable way of ridding yourself from the inhuman torture the siblings and relatives may be forcing upon you. Settling in Somalia or some far off galaxy can be safer but not completely safe.

Though all the above are very effective but the most successful weapon ever deployed with nearly 100% success rate is being revealed to you my His Majesty -

4. OBEY them

Empathy, listening to them and doing the unspeakable crime of obeying your relatives/siblings is surely gonna freak them out. This may sound like a disaster-therapy but there is no better way of getting rid of them - permanently. Reverse psychology generally works! Its proven (at least i think its proven).

(P.S. I have tried them all - but they are not always successful. This rough guide is only a survival technique and I impatiently await Government funding in order to continue my deep research on this crisis of 21st Century which easily dwarfs the current biggest problems of global warming and reality shows combined).