A guide to 'Your' CELEB life

There are umpteen useless guides on how to become famous. But what will you do 'after' that (and even before that). That's where the transcendental knowledge of the omniscient VJ comes to your rescue. I will help your 'famous' life get converted into an epic auto biography (actually - writing an auto-bio itself is a conclusive proof of greatness and immortality even though your life might have been categorically purposeless).

This six point guide is ALL you'll ever need:

1. Show off in advance -

Even before you write an auto-bio or become a recognizable celeb (for all the wrong reasons) you must show off your talents (if any). In the absence of any talent - which is a common possibility - just pretend you can do everything. Implying - act proud and intelligent with a sense of 'I Know Everything.' This is the method adopted by more than 99% famous people inhabiting this celeb-crazy planet.

2. Profess hypocrisy -

Intelligence is the tool of the wise but Hypocrisy is the weapon of the ultra-genius celeb. Therefore hypocrisy must be visible (wearing caps as shown in the image are an incredible help). Contradicting oneself and contradicting what you've just contradicted will make you 'appear' like an avant-garde and you'd be famous - instantly.

3. Hide facts -

Hiding facts and limiting even the most precise answers in the realm of vagueness is the benchmark of every great celebrity. This will avoid people from misquoting you (or even quoting you) and can give you ATTENTION on page 3 or other tabloids if the answers are blasphemous or scandal-worthy enough.

4. Express hate -

Every person is worthy of hate even if he has never troubled you. Seeking sympathy from the media and public by showing and hysterically expressing hate towards all wrong done to you (which is obviously hypothetical) and the exaggeration of events is the key to a successful celeb.

5. Fake greatness -

Splurging money like there's no tomorrow is compulsory. Let everyone around you know who you are by your money - character and personality are trivial details which no one looks at if you got the $$$$$. And every penny spent should be made public (obviously exaggeration is a must)

6. Self titles -

Ensure you give yourself titles like His Glorified Holiness, The Soul Saviour, Mr. Humbleness Personified etc. These will give you the cutting edge over the wannabe celebs.