The way it begins

Being my first blog, I'll start with something trivial, fleeting and categorically unimportant

How to lead a life

There are 5 simple steps to this -

1. First, go get a life:

You may think you have one - but whom are you kiddin' ? You inherently know you are leading a sad existence which is no better than a comatose parasite.

2. Quit your job:

This is pivotal to lead a life that matters. A job despite its financial importance (on which your dilapidated life hinges) is a curse and must be dealt with immediately - so get rid of it. Unemployment is bliss.

3. Suspect every helper:

Anyone who helps must be suspected and as far as possible be cursed to the maximum extent possible causing him/her to become your eternal enemy.

4. Spread misery:

Love is beautiful but misery is eternal. Ensure that everyone who is even remotely connected to you feels the daily pain of having to 'live' everyday. The level of misery must reach to a point where misery becomes an indispensable part of daily life. Misery to be eternal should be felt from within but misery should not make you a sadist as happiness from misery contradicts the essence and beauty of misery. (I hope you got it)

5. Finally, mourn:

All occasions especially birthdays, marriages and trifling events like winning a Nobel prize or Oscar must be mourned with public display of tears and lamentation leading to public epidemic of unstoppable grief.