Finally - THE haircut

I knew it wasn't working. So I made the intelligent decision to visit the salon (even though I should have had my hair cut at least 3 months ago).
I thought of impressing the folk by my long rock-star like hair. After months of hard work and avoiding the barber - my hair barely reached shoulder length. You can hardly impress the girls with that as they - on an average - easily have two to four times that length.

But what really madened me was that nobody noticed my efforts. The longest hair length of my entire life, got zero attention.
Zero.

"The pain is too much" I told myself.

After an hour at the salon I came back and stared at myself in the mirror. My hair was now visibly short. Very very short.
I realized that I looked 5 years younger and my head felt 5 kgs lighter. Not that my hair is so heavy but my brain has a Chronic Exaggeration Syndrome.
(Proof - this blog)

But I felt much better.
As I happily put some hair oil -
"Bloody hell" I screamed.
"Not again" I yelped.

The involuntary habit of the past 3 months - applying extra oil for the formerly long hair - was nearly 5 times the requirement of the presently short hair.
My head now shone like a tube light.

My heart consoled me "You're only human."
My brain sadistically added "Despite the contrary evidence."

What really happened to Superman?

Well you might have got up today and suddenly had this brain numbing question that threatens your very existence -
What happened to SUPERman?
Well, well.... well - I figured it out, just before I woke up today (Yes- before I woke up), and this is 'the' most closet vague answer you will ever find.

India happened to him.
Superman thought he was SUPERman and came to India but Indians taught him that he is just superMAN.
He was flyin' high trying to nail a few mobsters (who actually happened to be some of our MLAs) and the Air force told him he was flying in a no-fly zone. That ended his flying days and he was grounded.
Then he tried using his laser eyes to help the poor who were being exploited. But thats not allowed as he hadn't got the necessary laser usage license from some authority and had to pay hefty penalties.

Dejected and feeling pathetically helpless, Superman tried to take a flight back to the USA (look at the touching irony) where he could face simpler problems like Lux luthor and krptonite (his nemesis and his weakness respectively). But he had the shock of his life.
He was jailed.
Simple reason - The police. Not the normal powerless police but India's most powerful police ie the MORAL police. Superman's obscene outfit of underwear over his pants caused a 'national' outrage (caused by a grand total of two people). Those two people filed a suit in the court and the henious outfit of not-so-super man led him to his fate of 20 years of rigorous imprisonment.
So much for his happy ending.
Status update - The joker filed a petition to have him acquitted but the list of pending cases means he'll have to wait for 25 more years (at least). Therefore, as per latest reports, superman is counting stars...