What really happened to Superman?

Well you might have got up today and suddenly had this brain numbing question that threatens your very existence -
What happened to SUPERman?
Well, well.... well - I figured it out, just before I woke up today (Yes- before I woke up), and this is 'the' most closet vague answer you will ever find.

India happened to him.
Superman thought he was SUPERman and came to India but Indians taught him that he is just superMAN.
He was flyin' high trying to nail a few mobsters (who actually happened to be some of our MLAs) and the Air force told him he was flying in a no-fly zone. That ended his flying days and he was grounded.
Then he tried using his laser eyes to help the poor who were being exploited. But thats not allowed as he hadn't got the necessary laser usage license from some authority and had to pay hefty penalties.

Dejected and feeling pathetically helpless, Superman tried to take a flight back to the USA (look at the touching irony) where he could face simpler problems like Lux luthor and krptonite (his nemesis and his weakness respectively). But he had the shock of his life.
He was jailed.
Simple reason - The police. Not the normal powerless police but India's most powerful police ie the MORAL police. Superman's obscene outfit of underwear over his pants caused a 'national' outrage (caused by a grand total of two people). Those two people filed a suit in the court and the henious outfit of not-so-super man led him to his fate of 20 years of rigorous imprisonment.
So much for his happy ending.
Status update - The joker filed a petition to have him acquitted but the list of pending cases means he'll have to wait for 25 more years (at least). Therefore, as per latest reports, superman is counting stars...