Why are we bored?

Let me maturely avoid the obvious joke of reading a blog about boredom to be a sure sign of chronic boredom which is flirting with manic depression. But wait, I didn't.

But still, let's analyse the definition of boredom. The Oxford medical dictionary defines boredome as a state of mind where the brain is SO inactive that it is known to cause drooling, yawning and even sudden death.
Ok, I lied about the latter.
But that's still worth thinking about. And that may cure your boredom.

Okay, let's do the title some justice.
Why are we bored? Hmmm... That's quite a boring question to start with, innit?
But, I'll talk about ice creams instead.

Did you know that man is not an acronym for monkey ancestor nonsense?
(You might have... as I didn't know it until 10 seconds earlier)
But did you know that you will be dead longer than you will be alive?  

But.

Yes, I lied about the ice-creams. And I'm too bored to tell you why.
Ice-creams are generally cold.
Got ya! I lied about lying. Didn't see that coming did you?
Neither did I.

Now what?

This one is dedicated to +Sneha Jain not because she's special, no way, but because she's the only one who reads these.
(Well, she tells me she reads these).

Ladies and gentlemen, if you care to read and assuming you can - she's allegedly getting married. Quite soon. That fateful day is dangerously close.
So, let's examine it from MY point of view. Too much importance is given to the bride, the groom and the food. But it's me that gets affected the most. At least in my world.

Will we still be siblings? Yes.
Will we still abuse our dumb headed siblings? Hell, yes.
Will we get to hang about often? Probably not, and surely not like THAT. Not as before.
Will she get to wear black? Officially, no.
Will I still support Man Utd, Barca and Nadal? Irrelevant. And the answer is fuck yes.
Will she still be thirsty? That's a no brainer. And for those with no brains, yes.
Will we still watch Sarabhai together? I hope so.
Will this list end? Yes
Will.I.Am.
Will we avoid converesations relating to No sky above and still kind of laugh? Oh... yes.
Will.. oh, that's enough.
Will someone gime an award now? No..... Ok.
Will we still be hazardously cool and continue our joint efforts to take over the world? Oui. (That's French you ignorant people and it means go fuck yourselves. No, it means yes).


 




 

True love.

So let me spin you...a story. Maybe, you'll smile. Else, try a mirror.

You have (somehow) caught fire. (In the list of things to catch in life, fire is not highly recommended).
In this fascinating situation, you are - as per your brain's programming and available talents - panicking with full enthusiasm and energy. That's because your life matters to you.
Just before your whole life starts a tiresome recap of itself...

You see a swimming pool right next to you.
You saw hope.THEY all did.
You knew you would be saved. They ALL did.
But as you jumped in the pool you got hit by a torpedo and you died.
(Yes, they laughed. THEY all DID).

Don't ask me how did that come there as YOU are the one who caught fire, in the first place.
(Moving on, with slightly drained enthusiasm and energy).

So that's what happens when you destroy the environment and build bombs. Vengeance strikes. And it hurts. People die. And you are people. To be exact, you are one people.
Save trees, they're better than people. Because no tree ever made a torpedo. And it won't set you on fire. Actually it'll catch fire for you.  Ask the family of firewood if you don't believe me.
That's true love.

THE childhood

At this sensitive age, where we are approaching the end of contact with our childhood (sadly), let us look back at my, yours n OUR childhood. THE childhood.

What made the childhood, THE childhood (no, caps lock is not the answer. Just stfu and read, maga).

Uno - We were *very* young.... (yes, that's bleeding obvious but please read further)

Dos - DRAGON ball Z....

Now, if you didn't watch this, I sincerely hope we find travel for the sake of your non-existent childhood.
Kaaaameee.......
The battle, the humour, the STORY...
yaaaaaaaameeeehhhh......
Even today I talk about it with my friends and fight for Goku, Vegeta, Piccalo,Yamcha etc like little school kids. Pure bliss.
Yaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.........
(say hello to the next dimension for me)

Goku - "I would rather be a brainless monkey than a heartless monster."

Tres - No NEED to work.
(Wo)Man, you all agree on this (and if you don't, you probably are a sadistic snail or your parents didn't love you. Ask them, you are probably adopted or you were a mistake when the lights went out)

Cuatro - No ambition, except for playing more and more.
Ambition, career and other hogwash is mind-splittingly over-rated, machas/machis. Playing and fighting with friends, good time on TV and computer, that's the life and you know it.
(Well, if you don't - you suck).

If you are not in your childhood anymore, that's inevitably sad. But if you still got a bunch of nutcase friends like you, then you will never be far from your childhood.
(That's almost smart, you are ordered to please read the above line again).

Important techniques for daily usage

To improve your daily conversation, (psuedo)scientist Sir Vipul Jain (the prefix Sir being purely orna mental) suggests you all of this -

1. Name calling -
Cancerous retard, mindless chimp, drooling maggot, deranged cubicle, fat iphone, tall midget, perverted lamp, internet explorer, pawn head (see what I did there?) are the one's that leap to my mind.

2. Exaggerated comparisons -
I'd rather look at cat vomit than your face, you cause atheists to believe in hell, your green eyes look like those of a fat frog having a breath taking heart attack, I'd rather dismember myself than listen to you whine, your writing is the pinnacle of human regression (not mine, per se).

3. Pause/whisper/scream for effect -
Pause for effect, use whispering and screaming techniques for the best effect.
"I am your... (scream) FATHER.....(long pause) ...(then whisper, when he/she's gone)... not." 

4. Avoid people -
This is - by far - the best way to have an interesting conversation.